Handsome and Gorgeous
by LemoncholyDetective
Summary: Hansel and Gretel story modernized.  Miles and Rachelle are a couple trying to figure out why all of the animals and people are disappearing without a trace.


20 March 2012

"Handsome" and "Gorgeous"

Once upon a time in the middle of the forest, there were about seventy-one houses. Families all knew each other, given that they grew up together. The kids of this forest would go to the three local schools that were built. But their education and technology became outdated too soon. Most of the professions the kids could have were baker, hunter, or woodcutter. Then a miracle happened, the No Child Left Behind Act came through even to their part of the forest. A few short years after that, all homes got wi-fi, every child had laptops equipped with a virtual library, the schools were rebuilt, with a plasma TV and a smart board in every room. But that all quickly changes.

Miles rushes out of his house with a piece of plain toast in-between his teeth. In a multi-tasking massacre, he drops his keys twice while trying to dig his iPod out of his pocket. _It's only 6:15 in the morning and I'm already having a crappy-as-shit-day. _Then he finally picked it up to lock the door. He begun power-walking to school. It was only about a ten minute trek from his house to the building. But today, it took him eight.

"What is up maaah ninja!" a voice that Miles clearly recognized as his best friend, Joel's voice.

"I was texting that girl . . . so I was up really late."

"You mean that girl with the fancy-ass name?" Joel laughed.

"Yeah, _Rachelle_. We're gonna meet tonight when she moves in."

"Dude, I thought you were lying when you told me that she's gonna move here."

"Nah. She just asked me where I lived and she was all like, "OMG I'm moving there in a couple weeks" I was kinda surprised"

"Wow man," he patted Miles on the back then looked at the TV. "Well, I gotta go to class. See ya bud!" and ran off.

Most of Mile's school day was spent texting Rachelle about their high-tech forest. Over the two week period of knowing her Miles knew that Rachelle only lived with her Step-mother, which was frowned upon in the forest. He told her that everyone would think that it's weird, but they'll be fine with the change. They set up a time to meet at the barn in back of her house. The moment he saw her he fell in love. Miles asked Rachelle to be his girlfriend, she said yes. He agreed to take her on a tour of the school before any of the classes start the next day.

There was a knock on the door and Rachelle answered it. Miles was standing in the doorway, smiling.

"Well, you're here early," Rachelle said.

"I promised to be here, so here I am!" Miles rubbed his head awkwardly.

She laughed, "You're adorable."

"Aw, shucks," he put his hands in his pockets and kicked a rock.

They both heard a stomping upstairs. Rachelle quickly said, "C'mon let's go."

"So was that your mom?" Miles said as they were walking to the school.

"Uh, step-mom," She corrected. "She's a weirdo."

"How weird?"

"Like, I think she's a witch."

"That's harsh."

They opened the doors and went through the main hallway, and then they caught sight of Joel. His face was red with anger. Miles asked him what was wrong.

"What's wrong? My family's entire livestock was just killed this morning! Like a whole bunch of pissed bears just came down and slashed 'em up! It's the weirdest thing . . ." Joel covered his face. "The parents don't know what to do. The next town is like what-thirty miles? And we raise and slaughter the animals ourselves!"

"I'm sure the rest of the people will help," said Rachelle.

"Uh, Joel, this is the girl I was talking about," Miles explained.

"Hi there, I lost my number. Can I get yours?" Joel joked.

Miles said, "And we're leaving." They walked in the direction of the main office. Miles figured that Rachelle needed a No Child Left Behind Laptop. She laughed at the name. "Laugh now, but they're pretty sweet," he said.

Both of them texted each other in class about how boring the teachers made the lessons. Then school was over and they walked home together. "I hope Joel will be alright, animals killed like that is unusual," Rachelle said.

Miles kissed her hand and said, "It shouldn't happen again."

The next few days passed and everyday there were blogs from family's that have been victimized by the "pissed bear." Over half of the town is gone and the schools are barely running anymore. People are finding better places to live outside of the forest where the nearest store is forty miles away. Miles and Rachelle have been tracking the progress. In two more weeks the forest could be completely wiped out of any animals and people.

Any dreams that Miles was having was stopped when his phone rang. He put it off the charger and looked at the screen. It was Rachelle calling. He pressed "talk."

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Did you see Joel's blog? He's moving with half of the forest."

"Oh man and we're running out of meat here."

"Miles, we are two of the last dozen families still here, we need to ration our food. And I think school is canceled for good."

"Hooray for the school thing, but. . ." he started.

"But what?" she questioned.

Miles propped himself up on his elbow and said, "It would be best if we just ran away together. Our parents don't look like they're gonna leave. And we're probably a burden to them." He heard silence after his statement, "Rachelle?"

"My mom is up, sorry. Can we talk tomorrow?"

"Sure, see ya honey," he said. Then he heard her hang up. He checked his laptop for any news about the rest of the forest. _It's like this forest doesn't exist anymore._ His teachers and friends had disappeared.

The next morning he slept in because there wasn't any class. His mom was making the last of the sausage and he ate some on the way to Rachelle's house. She wasn't replying to any of his texts and he was getting worried. He knocked on her door. No answer. He walked around the house. No car. He walked around a second time. It dawned on him that she had left without saying goodbye or without warning. It had to be her mom. He got on his computer and tracked her number.

It took some days, but he finally made it to where she was. She was surprised to see him but she warned him that her mom forbade her from seeing him again, and would move away farther next time. They planned to run away that night.

"Listen, all we need is a little money," Rachelle suggested.

"I can't go back to my parents though; we're out of range here."

"Let's just go looking for a place to stay then," she said.

They walked around for about three hours. Rachelle gathered up grass and leaves while Miles carried all the firewood he could hold.

"Damn famine is making me go vegetarian," he scowled.

"Kinda sucks, but it's something."

For another two days they were walking and trying to find their way back to Miles' parents' house. There was a path that they followed and it led them to a nice diamond-made house. Miles and Rachelle thought they were dreaming. But then they looked at each other and picked off as many diamonds from the house as they could.

A rumbling could be heard down the path and they both hid in the bushes. Rachelle watched her stepmother get out of the car and inspect the house. She noticed the diamonds missing right away. "Rachelle!" She bellowed in her raspy voice.

"Y-yes Mother?" Rachelle came out of hiding. "Why didn't you tell me you had a house of diamonds?"

The evil witch laughed, "I just had it made and shipped here."

"How did you get all the money?"

She grinned a toothless grin, "I captured the people who tried to run off and I sold their parts to the market down the path. Those bodies plus animals make a hell of a profit."

Miles spoke up, "So . . . all those families, Joel-" he vomited all over the diamonds in his hands and fainted.

Rachelle's stepmom made a move to go toward Miles but Rachelle blocked her. "You know dear, you and your little boyfriend are the only one who knows of my secret," the witch said.

"It's going to be the whole world who knows once I get some service on my phone!" Rachelle yelled. Her evil stepmom lunged at her but Rachelle cut her leg with a diamond and ran off toward the direction of civilization. The stepmom tried to walk but fell down clutching at her calf. Miles woke up in a daze and stumbled to Rachelle's side. Rachelle finally called 911 to take her evil stepmother to jail.

Miles and Rachelle used the diamond house to help his parents move out of the dull forest and into a city where Rachelle had a relative living in. With Rachelle's stepmother gone, an unlimited supply of diamonds and a new life, Miles and Rachelle lived happily ever after.


End file.
